One of the more difficult things that parents have to do when they decide to divorce is tell the children. This can be a traumatic time for them, but it’s something that must be done.
In most cases, it’s best if both parents gather all the children together and tell them together. This is a chance for the parents to show the kids that they will work as a parenting team. While you’re talking to the kids, make sure you let them know these three things.
1. The divorce isn’t their fault
Never let your children believe that your divorce is because of them. Divorce is a strictly adult matter. Reassure them that there were things you and your ex couldn’t agree on and it was simply for the best to end the marriage.
2. You love them and support them
Children may worry about whether they’re going to still have both parents there to support them. You must make it clear that you will still be there to love them. It may help to explain that you plan on being there for all their major events and activities if that’s something you’ll be able to do.
3. Their feelings are valid
Let them know that they may feel a variety of emotions during the divorce and in the time after. You should normalize a range of feelings and let them know that it’s perfectly acceptable to feel things. You may need to help them find productive and acceptable ways to deal with some emotions.
Parents going through a divorce should ensure they get the parenting plan set for the kids as quickly as possible. This helps to give the children stability and enhances their ability to thrive.
